All of the Things We Did Not Do

We had an excellent time at the Modern Art Museum today.  All of the walking and getting lost and walking a lot further than we should have because we were lost left us weary and foot-sore so we decided that it would be wise to have a "down day" which meant that we only only planned to walk until our feet were bloody stumps.  Normally, there would be medical amputation involved by shady characters in back alleys using rusty hacksaws.  We are on our fifth or sixth set of prosthetic feet.

After a few days of wandering around hopelessly lost - which is kind of the idea, actually - we invested in a thing called a map.  It lists streets and attractions and the like and can be very helpful if you can actually figure out where you are on the map - a key requirement of the map - which we could not until we had wandered way off of course.  This map clearly lists the location of the exact building housing The Modern Art Museum.  When we didn't go to this museum for the first time the other day we circled it like Apaches, checking out a large tour group standing in line, holding entrance tickets, and peering into a hallway with a metal detector and several armed guards.  It did not have any markings listing it as a museum nor did it have any markings detailing prices, hours, or fees for entry.  This should have been an indication that something was afoul.

Today we were stunned to see that the entrance was crowd free, except for several Policia and several Policia cars.  We were going to actually get to go to a museum, real like.  As we strode purposefully toward the entrance one of the Policia peeled off to intercept us.  His eyebrows rose as if to say "Eh, what the fuck?"  I pointed toward the front door.  He shook his head once, no, and flicked his finger in another direction as if to say "I don't fucking think so."  As a recovering alcoholic I'm fluent in several languages in police gestures so off we went.

I expected nothing else.  We thoroughly enjoyed the rejection.  I was initially upset that I was going to have to actually go into a museum.  We bought a sandwich called a "Bikini" and sat outside in the park instead.  Later we did some research and discovered that the Modern Art Museum had at some point been moved miles away, probably to a building that had a sign on it saying "Modern Art Museum."  Fortunately, the large park where the museum may or may not ever have been located had several other museums in it.  We were in museum central.

First, we stopped by the Museu Zoologica.  The front door was chained and padlocked and had not been accessible since Medieval times, if the condition of the padlock was any clue.  Next, we went to the Museu Geologica which had a slick, modern entrance staffed by a uniformed guard. After some bad Spanish to bad English repartee we gleaned that the geological museum had moved.  She wrote down an address which may or may not have been an actual address containing an actual museum with opening and closing times, restriction free, and reasonably priced.  We did not seek out this address.

We did not go to three museums today.