Shop It Somewhere Else, Sister

Complain:  To find fault; declare annoyance.

I have been complaining about something for a good little while. This is not to be confused with the general complaining I do about everything almost all of the time; this is a very specific complaint about one thing over which I have absolutely no control.  I don't even want to misrepresent the lack of control I have with say, virtually no control because that would imply some control which, in this case, I do not have.
The brunt of all of this complaining falls on SuperK.  Even though she tired of it long ago she has demonstrated remarkable tolerance as the onslaught has worsened.  Finally, she mentioned that the topic had become noisome and that I should discuss it elsewhere with someone else.  She did not specify who I should discuss it with; neither did she restrict the list of possible people in any way except to mention that her name was not on the list.   My belief is that most people who get married do so because it's very convenient to have someone handy to complain to about things.  That and having someone to blame for the thing you're complaining about.  That's really important, too.  Why take responsibility for anything when there's someone right in the same house that you can saddle with the blame?

To my credit, I have tried to quit the complaining.  On the debit side of the ledger, it has been a slow process.  The rants have become more sporadic and less venomous but have not ceased completely.  They might not even have lessened - what I think has happened and what has happened are often two very different things.  So I've had to be more creative because I want to continue complaining but appear as if I'm not doing so.  I'm not bad at this, except with my wife who has had 23 years to learn every one of my wearisome bitching techniques.  I have no new material to trot out with her.   I am not writing new sketches or introducing new bits.  I am doing my original act to someone who was at the first show and didn't think I was all that funny the first time.

Yesterday I tried to cloak my complaining in a magical vanishing cape.  I don't even own a normal cape let alone one that make me vanish.  I go strolling outside in my magic cape, totally naked, thinking no one can see me.  I complained again about the same thing over which I have no control in a manner so clever that I thought it was opaque.  That way I get to complain but don't get yelled at.  It's the best of both worlds.  But I was called on my crap.  I couldn't believe it.  Later on in the day I was called on my crap again but this time I didn't even know I was trying to BS anyone.  That's how good I am - I bullshit myself.

I shouldn't go out in public.