Genghis Khan

A few months ago I started to attend a 12 Step meeting where the format is to read one of the Steps each week starting at Step number one and proceeding in order, without skipping any of the less interesting or "throw away" Steps, until you conclude with the twelfth and final Step.  I've almost always done this in my recovery.  I like the discipline that's required for me to thoroughly read and discuss a Step each week.  Our main text is also wonderfully illuminating on the topic of working the Steps but some of the chapters combine multiple Steps and a few of them get pretty sketchy treatment, in my humble-ish opinion.


As I believe I mentioned previously this group voted to add a second weekly meeting.  All well and good if one wished to attend both meetings, which One did not.  The group conscience swept me aside like Genghis Khan and his Mongol Horde laying waste to Asia Minor in the 13th century.  I responded appropriately: I was pissed and I stormed out.  I had agreed to be the secretary of this particular meeting so I resigned my position, with Attitude.  I didn't go to the meeting the following week, choosing instead to leave a tersely worded resignation on the top of the 12 Step books, like a little child.  


"What a chickenshit," you might be saying, and you might be right.  I will say that I was Pissed with a capital P and decided a gutless letter would be better than returning to the meeting while nursing so active a grudge.


The point is that I went back to the meeting this week.  It was fine.  I liked the meeting and I liked the people which is why I started going to the meeting in the first place.  I enjoyed myself.


It's not the resentments, which are inevitable.  It's how deeply I nurse them.