Little Stevie Seaweed

Seaweed:  Any sea plant or plants; especially, any marine alga.

I'm getting a little tired of the nickname "Horseface Steve."  I'm definitely not tired of "SuperK," however.  That is an outstanding nickname, although around the house she's usually "Princess Kristina" or "Champagne Kris" or something like that.

I digress.  I'm talking about someone other than myself and I have little or no patience for that.  "What's the point?" I wonder.  The trouble with Horseface is that some of my many, many, MANY girlfriends are starting to object to the negative connotations of having a face that resembles a horse.  And I haven't cut my hair in a year so I don't know too many horses with a lot of unruly gray hair.

"You don't have a Horseface!" one of my girlfriends said.  "You're very handsome!"  The reason I have so many girlfriends is that SuperK sends my posts to some of her friends.  Otherwise, I have about zero girlfriends, which is roughly the number, more or less, I had when I was drinking.

"Why thank you," I said to this woman, who is very attractive, as I blushed alluringly, a lovely, subtle shade of pink, which really makes my age spots sparkly.

"No," she continued, "It's more of a mule face.  Or . . . what is the result of a horse mating with a mule . . .  a burro!" she added brightly.

Anyway, when I was a little boy -- an actual little boy in people years and not a little boy trapped in 75 inches of overwrought man body -- some bully called me "Little Stevie Seaweed" as a taunt of some kind.  It bugged me so I told my parents who thought it was hilarious which totally pissed me off.

I'm going to try it on for size.