Justify:  To free from blame; declare guiltless; acquit; absolve.


Wow.  When I justify my behavior I see that I'm simply declaring that I'm not at fault.  For anything.  I notice with some chagrin that the definition doesn't specify whether or not the behavior is proper, appropriate, or legal, either.  Apparently all I have to do is state that I'm blameless to be a good Justifier.  I declare I'm without guilt.  Sweet.


And make no bones about it -- I'm a world-class Justifier.  When I want to do something I can come up with a thousand reasons why I should be able to do it.  It doesn't matter how egregious this behavior might be.  This is why we have the Inventory Steps.  Steps 4 & 5 ask that we take a really serious, honest look at our part in things -- instead of covering up the facts with layers and layers of justification --  and then share it with another human being.  Steps 8 & 9 ask us to go to the offended parties -- people, employers, government agencies, the list is usually long and varied -- and clean up our side of the street.  We are not permitted to take our brooms over to the other side of the street even though we can see it is much, much filthier than our side of the street.  We don't get to say: "I'll admit my part when you admit your part.  Here's the #*!! broom."


When the company that I was working for fired me a few months back I understood the firing guy -- who took 45 seconds to can me after 15 years of continuous service, as he sat on a plane taxiing to take off -- to say that I would be paid through a certain date.  While I was expecting the firing to come at some point it was still a punch in the gut.  In retrospect I'm pretty happy he was quick about it because stuff has a way of coming out of my mouth that should definitely stay in my mouth but often doesn't.  I shouldn't even be thinking this stuff let alone saying it.  But the circumstances of the firing were a little insulting.  A blow to my ego.  It would have been nice to be treated with a little more dignity.


Anyway, the follow up letter that a colleague of the firing guy sent me indicated my termination would be effective at a slightly later date.  I didn't point this out to the firing guy, who I was still pretty pissed at, because the later date was more to my liking.  And honestly, I was kind of stunned during the firing process and wasn't sure that I had heard the date correctly so I figured I'd let it slide because, obviously, the longer they send me money the happier I am, with money being the root of all happiness and everything.  Also, I figured they owed me this seeing as they had treated me so abysmally over the years with all of the opportunities and nice commission checks and everything.


Let the justification begin in earnest.  I took the extra check.


A few weeks ago a lackey of either the firing guy or the letter gal contacted me to verify my new address.  I assumed they needed this to send out my tax forms although another check would have been appreciated as well.  The next day I received a commission statement electronically and the day after that another check arrived.


I did not walk to the bank.  I ran . . . repeat, ran . . . to the bank with this check.  Technically, I guess, they can send me checks forever and ever if they want to.  I do not think, however, that they want to.  I'm guessing this is a big company where the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing.  


So, dear reader, what is my ethical obligation here?  Please keep in mind that I was treated O so badly! and that I love money O so much! and that money makes me happy and solves all of the problems that have ever existed, that exist now, and that will exist in the future forever and ever, amen!