Bob Wilson

I'm going to take a short hiatus from talking about Problems, as much as this pains me.  I like to talk about Problems.  I'm quite the Problem aficionado.  It's my area of expertise.  I've got a lot of experience in Problem creation.  Too bad I can't get a job in that field because I'd make a LOT of money.


Anyway, I was mulling over the alien concept of service this morning in my meditation.  This is a good sign.  Normally, I mull over my many problems and how they are multiplying and getting worse and growing in intensity.   When I was trying to get sober in Indianapolis there was an old dude named Bob Wilson -- if ever there was a name with some portent that would be it -- who picked me up and took me to meetings in his big, old car.   A Buick or Mercury, as I recall.  Some huge car with deep leather seats and a killer heater.  I remember sitting outside my rat-hole apartment with Bob after the meetings were over, engine idling, talking about recovery.  I couldn't have been a very interesting conversation partner at that point, and that assumes I'm an interesting one now, which is a stretch by any measure.


I moved to Chicago after several marginally successful months in The Program in Indy, and it was there that I began working on my alcoholism in earnest and actually got sober.  I came back for a visit and I looked Bob up.  I was shocked to hear that he had lung cancer and wasn't doing very well.  I visited him at his home.  He was frail and fading, but we still had a good talk.  It dawned on me that he was sick already before I left.  I never knew.  He never talked about it.  I bitch to high heaven when I have a hangnail so the thought that someone who had a terminal disease would sat quietly while I prattled on about myself left me slack-jawed and awed.


I returned to Chicago and Bob died soon after, which is one of the reasons I use his full name.  He was not a guy I would have chosen to spend time with.  We would not have crossed paths socially or professionally.  But, boy, did I learn a lot about service, the kind of service that gives and gives and never takes.  I believe I am on record as saying that I never do anything unless I see that it shows practical results in someone else's life.  You can tell me it's going to work until you're blue in the face and I won't do it.  I'm like a child that way.  I watch and observe, and I follow someone's example when I can see good, practical results in their lives.


Like with Bob.  Pass it on, my brother.