5D

Chaos:  The disorder of formless matter and infinite space, supposed to have existed before the ordered universe.


Last night I chaired a meeting on 5D of a local hospital: The Psychiatric Ward.  The floor where you need a key to get in and a key to get out, and a different key to get on the elevator.  It's hard to get very far if you don't have access to many different keys.  A lot of people in the Pysch Ward suffer from mental illnesses that are controllable UNTIL they drink or smoke meth or shoot heroin, at which point the medications they take don't work so well and they are thrown into crisis.  Psych Ward meetings are usually controlled chaos.


I was reminded of the unmanageability of my life at this meeting.


When I left I drove to nearby clubhouse to catch the second half of a meeting that SuperK was chairing.  What was the topic, you ask?  First Step.  The original Powerless Step.


Most of the time god whispers but from time to time god puts an amplified bullhorn right up to my ear, and shouts at the top of his lungs.


Today I had a couple of conversations with friends in recovery, and I brought up the cat.  Both of them are pet owners and were very sympathetic.  Neither of them had any great, new insights or access to a magical healing potion prepared by a shaman from Bhutan, but they were supportive.  I wasn't looking for The Answer.  I just wanted some validation that I was behaving reasonably and that my emotions were understandable.  Both of these people had contacted me with no real agenda.  I encourage alcoholics to use the phone even when things are OK because you never know when you might catch someone who is having a tough go of it.


It's not always about you.