Lying v. More Lying

Lie: A false statement or action, especially one made with the intent to deceive; anything that gives or is meant to give a false impression.

Lie is the simple, direct word meaning to make a deliberately false statement.

I wonder why lying isn't one of the 7 Deadly Sins. Apparently, it's more minor in nature. All that does is encourage me to do it a lot since I know that there really isn't anything in the way of dire consequences beyond a couple of Hail Marys or splashing around a little holy water.

It's not that I can't see the error of my ways -- it's that I can't seem to stop myself. There can be a lot of pleasure in sinning.

Most of us are born to some kind of greatness. My talent seems to have fallen under the broad category of doing things to give a false impression, which doesn't sound as bad as lying. Now, of course, I would rather have developed into a great doctor or preacher or public servant of some kind, but that is the hand that I've been dealt. I'm a born liar. I should have been a spook for the CIA.

I enjoy lying, to be honest about it. Although sometimes when I'm really telling a corker I'll add the "to be honest about it" phrase, so you may want to take that comment with a grain of salt. Lying comes to me naturally. I can look someone in the eye and spool out the most incredible BS, and I don't pause a beat even when I can tell that nobody is buying into the spirit of the lie.

I'm a purist when I'm practicing my specialty. I have standards, a code.

While I enjoy the direct, bold-faced lie, my favorite is the lie of misdirection. This is where technically I tell the truth -- there is no false information in the words themselves -- while still managing to make you believe something that isn't true.

I'm also quite good at the honest lie. This is where I tell the same incorrect story over and over for so long that I forget it isn't true and begin to believe it myself. I told stories for years before figuring out that they weren't true.

"I don't believe I ever did that," I'd think.

And of course who can discount the situational lie? This is where I change the volume and intensity of the lie depending on the subject and situation. For example, let's say I went out and drank 10 beers. I'd tell my friends that I had twice that many, because it made me look good or something while telling my parents or boss or Officer Harm that I had two.

I bet I could beat a lie detector test.