What Did I Do With My Tin Foil Hat?

Sane: Showing good sense; sound; sensible.

I'm not all that sure what the big attraction to sanity is, anyway. I admit that initially I was offended by the implication that I was bedeviled and beleaguered by some type of "insanity, " as I sat by myself in my apartment, compulsively cleaning or organizing something, or talking to monsters or people who weren't actually there, with the blinds pulled and Black Sabbath's "The Wizard" cranked up to 11 on the stereo that cost more than all of my possessions combined, including my car. Insane? Not me. Pay no attention to my tin foil hat. It's medically indicated.

There's way, way too much credence given to sanity. I figure most people are sane so it can't be that hard to do. It's just herd mentality, groups of lemmings all running together and diving off the cliff into the sea for no logical reason.

Reminds me of the time I jumped into Crater Lake in Oregon from a ledge 50 feet up with no idea whether the water was 20 feet or 20 inches deep. Made sense at the time. I do remember how cold the water was. I almost had a seizure.

There's still a part of me who wants to swim against the current. All of me, when I think about it. If everyone is doing it, then I perceive it as "normal" which holds no fascination for me. I don't know why I do half the stuff I do. I amuse myself. Spandex says that he calls me "Tall Steve, you know, with the hats." I have a lot of hats. I don't particularly like hats and they don't make me look any better, with my horseface and everything, but nobody else wears hats so I'm always buying a hat. I have a sock cap, bright yellow, with a fringe of fingers protruding from the top that I like to wear. I look like a big chicken. I ask strangers: "What do you think of this hat?" Everybody is so nice. No one yet has said: "You look like an idiot," which is the whole idea of course, to look like an idiot. Anybody can buy a nice hat. It takes guts to wear a hat like that. Shorty's wife was driving by as I was taking a walk one day. She told me she thought: "Wow, that guy has a lot of self-confidence" before exclaiming: "That's Horseface!"



I do think that most of the normals out there look at me askance most of the time. Or they think I'm some kind of goody two shoes, a reference gleaned from a morality story written in 1765 about a ragamuffin who was was grateful that a wealthy merchant replaced her one shoe with a pair. I'm not sure how the definition changed to indicate someone who is smug, coy, and self-satisfied, but it's a pretty old story.

Really, all I'm talking about is being silly, most of the time. I'm not too insane anymore. Not get arrested or beat up insane, anyway.