Ride, Ride My See-Saw

I went to the pool yesterday and had a nice swim. I bent over to pick up something or the other -- OK, some girly guy conditioner -- and my back did a bit of a seize-up. "Oh, c'mon," I thought. "This is hardly fair. This is hardly something that I want to happen with me." At least I could have gotten hurt jumping off a third floor balcony into a swimming pool or getting mangled in a bar fight or car wreck. That kind of pain I deserve. But this? This routine run of the mill happens to everybody crap? This I can do without, as long as I'm calling all of the shots.

Once again I have to try to find the middle. When I'm running amuck, instincts awry, I seesaw between wildly improbably extremes. Sometimes I pretend that nothing is wrong and I can go on about my day with blissful disregard to the actual circumstances. Like showing up at a wedding with a blood stained shirt. If I pretend that nothing is wrong, then nothing is wrong. "Maybe no one will notice the blood stains," I say. "Where did these blood stains come from anyway? Should I get stitches for this cut over my eye?" I was the guy who showed up at work with a temperature of 102 and projectile vomiting because I was too important to stay home. I thought the world would fall apart if I wasn't manipulating it.

My other tendency is to try to fix the problem with some ACTION. I'm quite the problem solver. I can solve anything with SHEER WILLPOWER. It never occurs to me to let something run its course. I have to bend it to my wishes. Sometimes I need to sit quietly and see what happens. The temperature comes down over time. The projectile vomiting gives way to the dry heaves. If I break my leg I can't jog that afternoon.

When all else fails, I can start shouting: "Why me, why me, why me?! Why did a bad thing happen to me? Why didn't it happen to someone else?"

You, for instance. That would be better for me.