Any Advice? From Me?

I have an update on the young woman who cuts my hair and has struggled with alcohol in her past . . . and in her present as it turns out.  Repeating myself I am still surprised at how many people can relate - either personally or concerning a loved one - when I share about my alcoholism and my recovery.  This naked admission of a checkered past isn't for everyone - isn't appropriate for everyone - but it fits into my lifestyle nicely, partly, I think, because I enjoy the shock value of what I'm revealing, this kindly gray-haired grandpa figure.  Anyway, I was delighted to get a phone call and a text from her asking if I could recommend a sponsor.  I encouraged her to attend my meeting in person - I think face to face works best when you're new - but also passed her phone number on to a couple of young women in the meeting that I thought would be a good fit and that I knew were willing to reach out.  One of them is about her age, also has two small children, and works in the same field.  These two hit it off and the new woman actually showed up at the meeting.  I faded into the background.

Later in the day I checked in with my friend and got a lot more information about the new woman than she had revealed to me.  Granted, I was talking to her in her salon so she was more guarded in our conversation but she told my friend that she was still drinking because she would shake noticeably when she tried to quit and suffered a seizure a while back when she stopped suddenly.  She didn't take a newcomer chip because she needed a shot of alcohol to even make it to the meeting.  She has been to detox several times but isn't open to returning because she needs to work.  My friend - who has a couple of years of sobriety - was brilliantly spot-on in her responses.  I could not have done any better.

Still, she asked me: "Any advice?"

"Stay tuned," I replied, clearly treading in deeper water than I had expected.  "I need to make a coupla calls."

I spoke to a friend who worked in the recovery industry about the shot-taker.  Basically, I know seizures can be deadly so I wanted some reassurance that the new woman wasn't in imminent danger.  Even though I have absolutely no power to make anyone do anything.  His take was that detox is absolutely where she should be, that some people are more prone to alcohol-induced seizures than others, and that most people - most people - come through them okay.  Armed with this information I circled back to my friend - I was once again VERY complimentary - and we have been going back and forth about the insanity of the alcoholic and how powerful that insanity is and how totally powerless we are to make anyone do anything.  I can't rationalize with someone that fogged with alcohol.

The whole episode has rattled me a little bit.  And not a bad rattled, either, more of a crystal clear reminder that I can, if I want, return to this kind of misery, this kind of hopelessness.  Sometimes I get to the point where I think I've got everything figured out, that I'm a member of the Executive Committee of Alcoholics Anonymous, and then the new woman enters my life and reminds me what's waiting for me if I don't maintain my spiritual condition.