Some Distancing, Dude

 I've taken two six week vacations recently into areas that are remote enough so that they don't support A.A. meetings or where English isn't the language spoken.  And on the rare occasions where I had an opportunity to attend it would have required me to drive at night on roads that seemed to have been designed by insane meth addicts.  In the U.K. driving on rural roads - which were usually about a lane and a half wide and twisted unconscionably left and right constantly while popping up over blind rises with never a verge in sight - took all of my driving skills during the day when I was fresh and hyper-alert.  I suppose I could have looped in a Zoom meeting but I'm through with that worthy medium and back into The Rooms.

The point is this: I didn't really miss it.  In the past a prolonged, forced absence from meetings ended up with one increasingly squirrelly dude but I was just fine this time.  I'm having difficulty at the moment overcoming my impression that a lot of meetings are taking a stance one way or the other on controversial issues.  The content isn't always overt but the subtext is palpable and it makes me uncomfortable.  Now, God forbid I become one of those long-timers who make up crap like "when I was getting sober we made due with dry Sanka - we chewed on the crystals and we didn't use any water, either" and share other apocryphal stories but . . . this is not the atmosphere I remember as a newcomer.  Part of this, I guess, is that I've been sober 35 years and I hope my diligence with my recovery has paid some dividends so that a daily meeting is no longer required and also I readily admit that I'm a lot less willing to get up too early or stay up too late for my meetings.  I'm more likely to be dozing off at 9 PM than listening to a drunk share at a meeting.

I never thought I'd find myself at a point where not being at a meeting is often more enjoyable than being at a meeting.  I'm not quitting entirely but I've cut back and to no ill effect that I can see.  I have been careful to talk about this with some of my trusted A.A. advisors and counselors and co-sponsors - not Willie, of course - so that they can help me ferret out any hidden justifications and have gotten a clean bill of health so far with the suggestion I stay on top of this rapidly developing situation and continue my other recovery/spiritual growth work.

Who'd a thunk it?