The I.R.S.

I've been sober for almost 32 years.  I've been alive for over 62.  I have not been a total asshole for a decent percentage of both of those spans.  I have some experience at life and I have managed to put good spiritual principles to effective use to help me cope with all kinds of life events, good ones and bad ones - or should I say pleasant ones and painful ones.  Alcoholics Anonymous has provided me with a ton of simple slogans and mottoes to help me sort out the pleasure and the pain, to condense my reactions into something practical and easy to remember.  Keep it Simple.  One Day at a Time.  This, Too, Shall Pass.  And one of the biggies: It's All God's Money, Anyhow.

Sometimes when I'm repeating this stuff to someone who is under stress I feel a little sheepish.  There's nothing worse than hearing a tidy little aphorism when you're suffering, especially when it's coming from someone who doesn't have a lot of crap on their plate.  I have a lot of dessert on my plate, frankly, so I'm careful telling a friend who is under financial duress that "It's all god's money, anyhow.  If he wants some of it god is just going to take it."  That doesn't mean that I don't have a responsibility to be fiscally prudent but rather that whether I end up with some money or some more money or very little money is often out of my hands.  There are a lot of forces swirling around out there.

I had a buddy who was going through a divorce recently.  His wife was trying to get her hands on some of his money - unreasonably, it seemed to me.  I could see he was doing all the right things, behaving well, with no assurance that he wasn't going to get took some.  "It's all god's money, anyhow," I'd say, they duck a right cross.

Yesterday I got a letter in the mail from the IRS.  The Internal Revenue Service.  I briefly reflected on the name, wondering if there is an External Revenue Service.

Service: An act of being of assistance to someone.  (Ed. Note: Oh, for chrissake.)

I opened the letter and saw a payment stub with a non-stamped, self-addressed envelope.  The amount due read: $31,517.

I'm sorting this out.  I think some of it is a service error on the part of the IRS but I'm guessing I made some honest mistakes on my return.  After all, the U.S. tax code and associated regulations contain about 5.4 million words, seven times as many as the Bible.  I couldn't cheat if I wanted to and even though I want to I try not to.  Practice these principles in all my affairs, to coin a phrase.

I had to laugh thinking about my friend.  If he had told me that "it's all god's money, anyhow" yesterday I think I'd be running from the law today.