Justifying Gossip

More reflections on discussing the affairs, personality quirks, and monstrous and obvious defects of my friends and enemies, colleagues and rivals, mentors and slaves . . . 

I was talking with Willie yesterday about nothing in particular.  This is not unusual because we're not very interesting people although we secretly like to think that we are.  Anyway, we enjoy presenting ourselves as sort of suburban counter-culture warriors.  Neither of us takes a ton of satisfaction in things that most people cherish as a normal part of an adult life - behaving traditionally, raising children and being a spouse, giving a flying fuck about the business world, remembering and celebrating birthdays and mother's day and anniversaries.  It has been helpful over the years bouncing these attitudes about life around with someone who sees the world in a similar vein.  

The gossiping part of this screed centers around a friend we have in common who isn't like this at all - very traditional, very much living a life of routine and repetition.  But he's kind of a bozo - a big child living in an adult world.  I think it has been helpful reflecting on his lifestyle and comparing it to our own.  I hope that when we talk about the dude we aren't being critical or demeaning - we say we aren't, in any case although I suspect there is a darker purpose hiding beneath our self-congratulatory attitudes.  This man is really good at the things that Willie and I sniff at but he's not so good at the things where we've succeeded, despite our attempts to pretend that we're bad-ass, easy-rider outcasts.  From time to time we have to point out to each other that we're really pretty good adults, behavior-wise, despite our secret lives as dudes paddling upstream just because we like the idea that we're going against the flow.

Willie, for instance, has been married a while, has two sons who appear to be well-adjusted, has worked successfully for a long time for the same company where he is well-regarded, pays his mortgage and taxes and cuts his grass.  Every time we talk to the traditional guy we hear stories of implausible business adventures or odd educational pursuits.

I wonder what's best - someone traditional on the surface but a bit dysfunctional in the deeper sense or someone who speaks chaos and destruction yet shows up regularly in a normal sense.  I guess I'd rather have someone working for me who doesn't give a shit about the business world but shows up and gets the job done than some dude who is fully invested in the lifestyle but can't focus on what's important long enough to move forward at all.

That's just me, justifying away.