Lie, Lady, Lie

I believe that for most of us whenever you think that you're making some progress on your character defects go and visit your family.  You'll see how much further you have to go.  For me it's the pool.  Weird, I know, but there it is.  I behave pretty well until I get in the pool where I'm transformed into Mad Max.

I was swimming laps today before the 9AM Aqua Fit class.  I've expressed my ire at Aqua Fit before.  This is the water-based exercise-like program where a lot of lovely, overweight, older ladies clog up the pool for an entire hour in a simulation of exercise.  I'm glad they're showing up and pretending to do something physical but 9AM?  C'mon, they're all retired.  Can't we do 10AM?  The 9AM means I have to get there earlier than I want or I have to wait until the class is over at 10, a time that's later than I want.  As you can see 9AM is an irritant in my chlorine-red eyes.  I understand that the irony in that if you would like to swim say at 10, then moving the class would not be to your liking and you would like to maintain the status quo, to which I say: Tough Shit.

I've learned to adapt.  So there I am swimming today - not at all irritated that I'm swimming earlier than I want - in the lane closest to the wall, the lane that has the stairs that all of the nice ladies use to get into the pool.  At about fifteen minutes until nine some of them start to make their way into the water.  A few cross through my lane and head for the middle of the pool while some of them begin to clog up the half of the lane closest to the wall to which I say: Fine, just stay out of my fucking lane, even though I am wondering why they can't wait another 10 minutes and clog the pool up for an entire hour, an hour where I'm prohibited from entering the pool, at a time that I would like to be swimming.  And my resentment gently simmers . . . 

So I'm dodging these large, bobbing, non-exercising, pool-clogging human beings, weaving in and out, making the turn for my last length - my LAST LENGTH - when I see one of them has moved into the middle of my lane, and she's standing there, talking to someone in the next lane over.  I start to swim, assuming she'll . . . you know . . . get the fuck out of my way as I approach, which she does not do.  I pull up a couple of feet from her, give her a withering glare, and then continue my lap, deciding to brush as close to her as possible to let her know she's in my fucking lane.  I get too close, apparently, and fucking clock her.  It felt like a shoulder but I wasn't sure - it might have been a head strike - but I got her good.  And I didn't stop.

So I finish the lap, pop off my goggles, and look back down the lane to see her there rubbing her forehead.  Sigh.  I dog paddle down to where she's standing with another woman.

"You OK?" I ask.

"Yes, it sort of stings, though," she said.  

"Didn't you see me there?" she asked.

"No," I lied.

"I was trying to get over to the other lane," she lied back.  

So I saw her and lied about it and she said she was moving away, clearly a lie as she was standing there talking to someone.  Lie, lie, lie.  I should go back and read my post of a few days ago where I was giving the business to my neighbor who lied about smoking weed in the clubhouse.  It is a lot easier criticizing someone else than taking a look at myself.

I popped her good though.  I wish I felt worse about it than I do.  I bet she stays out of my fucking way next time.