Deranged Seaweed

Sane: Being in a healthy condition; not deranged; thinking rationally.

(Ed Note: Deranged would be an excellent name for a hard rock band.)

A breaking news story update coming out of The All Seaweed, Every Day, Every Minute Network . . . . 

I did see the lady I clocked at the pool today while I was talking to the bobbing/thrashing/splashing class instructor who was playing some Lynyrd Skynyrd, an act that cried out for a conversation.  We comported ourselves with grace.  I apologized again, and for the last time - I'm not an over-apologizing, groveling, begging-for-mercy kind of guy so two I'm Sorrys are enough - which she graciously accepted.  In fact, she took the blame for the clocking and the instructor pointedly agreed: "It was her fault," she said flatly, pointing at the clocked attendee.  The teacher is mindful of the fact that her class should let the lap swimmers do their thing until the class starts, but sometimes it's hard to get the herd going in the same direction.

"At least you hit her in the head," she added as I was walking away.  "It's not like you grabbed her boob."  

I am not making that up.

In another, less urgent vein I've been doing some Step Two analysis on my health and well-being obsession.  As a reminder: "Came to believe that a Higher Power could restore us to sanity." Even though I've read all of The Steps many times I'm continually amazed at how I hear voices that for some reason didn't speak to me in the past.  Maybe they spoke once, then fell silent for years, before piping up again.  I'm also amused at the fact that the founders tend to repeat the same basic instructions over and over again, sometimes in the same Step, using language that is only slightly different.  They're not even trying to disguise the fact that they're plagiarizing their own shit.  They figured, rightly so, that a bunch of antsy alcoholics who can't pay attention for two minutes and resist the most fundamental suggestions need to have them repeated over and over and over.  And over.

"At no time had we asked what god's will was for us; instead we had been telling him what it ought to be."  Then, two paragraphs later: "We had not even prayed rightly.  We had always said 'Grant me my wishes' instead of 'Your will be done.' "

This made sense to me today: "The minute I stopped fighting or arguing, I could begin to see and feel.   Right there, Step 2 gently and very gradually began to infiltrate my life.  I had only to stop fighting and practice the rest of The Program as enthusiastically as I could."

I'm not even going to get into the part today where they slip in, right at the very end, the implication that I'm insane.