Defiant Seaweed

Defy:  To refuse to obey; to renounce or dissolve all bonds of faith or obligation with; to reject, refuse, or renounce.
Rely: To trust; to have confidence in; to depend.

"Belief meant reliance, not defiance."  Some book I've read . . . .

Pivot:  (Noun) Someone or something having a paramount significance in a certain situation.
            (Verb)  To turn on an exact spot.

I like the concept of pivoting.  I'm moving quickly in one direction and then I'm quickly moving in another direction.  The key is not blowing out your knee when you make this abrupt change.  A lot of change is gradual, incremental, something that happens slowly and steadily over a period of time and some change is Boom! you're going another way and in a hurry.  You know the feeling: sitting in the passenger seat of a car looking at porn on your cell phone and the driver makes a hard turn left and you bang your head against the window kind-of-change.

I prefer controlling the change in my life.  I like being in control.  The book I'm skimming about overcoming the perceived challenges of aging in a nice, pretty non-bitchy, not-too-terribly-whiney manner is dealing in a peripheral way with how to best handle the trauma of the hard left turn bang your head on the window kind of change: serious illness, death of a loved one, loss of an important job, the big things that happen suddenly.  You have a small sore on your thumb so you go to the doctor and Malignant Cancer of the Thumbnail!  which you definitely did not see coming.

The slow change is more manageable.  It unspools in a way that allows you to make adjustments so there isn't such a strong line between Now versus Before.  You adapt.  You see it happening.  The jarring change requires, I think, some work so that we can understand that things are never going to be the way they were.  One of the categories in the Five Stages of Grief concerns this belief that we can somehow, if we only manage well, get things back to the way they were.  Getting through these emotions can be hard.  Hard as hell.  

I hate change and I love change.