The Hammer of Thor

Sponsor:  A senior member of a twelve step or similar program assigned to guide a new initiate and form a partnership with him.

Wow, that definition was not written by someone in The Program.  I like the concept of a "senior member."  It has an official feel to it.  It suggests that the senior member has some idea what's going on.   This may or may not be the case.  I also like the idea of an "initiate."  That has a vaguely religious feel to it.  My experience is that the whole set-up is pretty random.

I also like that this is the second possible definition listed on Wiktionary.  That's awfully high up on the importance scale.

Here's Urban Dictionary's take on the matter: "In various 12-Step groups a sponsor is someone who has some time in the program and has worked the steps who is willing to be there for newcomer.  Sponsors generally take the newcomer through the steps, are there to listen when a newcomer calls, and encourages him or her to get involved in the group.  Sponsors expect nothing in return except that the sponsee does the sane for the next person needing help."

That's a little more accurate.

I would also add that a sponsor is not your friend although a friendship often develops after a while.  But at the start most of us don't need our sponsor to be our buddy.  We need someone to tell us the truth, a thing most of us don't want to hear.

So I contacted my suicidal sponsee one last time, biting back big time on my inclination to come in wielding the Hammer of Thor.  I dunno . . . I was in Chicago for my formative years and people there weren't overly concerned about my feelings.  They were concerned about my sobriety and to transmit this concern they were direct.  I don't think they were upset when they pissed me off.  He responded in the affirmative when I asked if he was being released from the hospital today.  To my follow up question - whether he still wanted to get together on Monday to read The Steps and, less plausibly, whether he would be able to make it to today's Step Study - the silence was deafening and definitive.