Hell Is Other People

"They generally withhold strong emotion and do not like to waste time with what they consider irrational social rituals.  This may cause non-INTJs to perceive them as distant and reserved.  In social situations INTJs may be unresponsive and may neglect small rituals designed to put others at ease.  For example INTJs may communicate that idle small talk is a waste of time.  This may create the impression that the INTJ is rude or in a hurry - an impression that is not always intended, and may not be true at all."

So I am in the process of soliciting information as I try to pivot into a somewhat new place in my life.  Obviously it's getting kind of late in the game to reinvent the wheel but tweaking the machine is an ongoing and necessary process, and all of us need to tear the thing down, make repairs, and put the thing back together from time to time.  The problem with the total rebuild is that sometimes you don't remember what part goes where.  Sometimes there are pieces so messed up that you can't put them back in.  Sometimes there is shit left over.  You tighten down the final bolt, screw in the last grommet, hammer down the last hatch before you notice a big piece of complicated circuitry with wires coming out of it lying off to the side.  

"What the fuck is that?" you think. 

"What the hell," you say, before jamming it into a cavity and then turning the ignition.  Sometimes the machine starts right up; sometimes the silence is deafening; and sometimes you throw a rod or blow a gasket.

One of the issues I have is that I spend a little too much time alone.  The facts are these: I am an introvert and people do irritate the shit out of me most of the time and I am so much more fascinating than everyone else, so why would I want to clutter up all of my precious free time with lesser mortals?

SuperK thinks that I need to pick up a hobby or engage in an activity with other people.  My therapist doesn't disagree but is of the opinion that I have a personality that is going to preclude my joining in with other people in a lighthearted, earnest fashion.  It seems to me that this isn't my style.  SuperK thinks I use the "facts" of my personality profile to justify behaving however I want.  This I find irritating, usually a good indicator that someone is getting uncomfortably close to an uncomfortable truth.  My therapist thinks that the way I behave is often an indicator of the kind of person I am at heart.

If you think a fart joke is funny then you think it's funny.  If you don't then you don't.  It isn't like you need to study up on fart jokes and then you'll get the joke.  You don't think it's funny and there's no need to try to make it funny.

Use Sarcasm Like A Weapon

"INTJs have a black belt in sarcasm and they use it to swat away stupid remarks as though they were obnoxious fruit flies.  INTJs use a very dry and subtle form of sarcasm that often swims under the radar of other people.  They have been known to do this to amuse themselves; seeing how much they can insult someone without their noticing.  When the INTJ is really irritated however they may employ a more a scathing version of this meant to inflict damage and make their disdain blatantly obvious."

I don't know - that definition seems to be a little self-congratulatory, in weird kind of way.  And I'm really starting to sound like an insufferable ass here.  But sarcastic I am.

Do Not Gossip

"Keeping up with the Jones’ is not what INTJs do and superficial subject matter, in general, holds little interest for them.  They do not want to hear about the banal arbitrary details of other people’s lives.  INTJs can hardly understand why people consume vapid tabloid fodder that has no significance in the grand scheme of existence.  There are too many substantial, productive, and meaningful things in the world to focus on and nobody knows that better than an INTJ."

My wife belongs to a couple of book clubs.  A worthy activity although one that holds as much interest to me as having a red-hot poker inserted into my vitreous humor.  I like to read but I don't care what you think of the book and I'm not interested in explaining what I think of the book to you in an unofficial venue.

My wife belongs to a couple of golf leagues - she enjoys the golfing and she enjoys the camaraderie with the other golfers, although the truth of the matter is that she does as much bitching about them as anything else.  I like to go on long hikes by myself.  I swim alone but then I sit in the hot tub and talk to the many friends I've made there, but only for 15 minutes, and then I'm ready to go.  If SuperK gets stuck in a foursome with someone she doesn't like she is burned for four hours.  If some idiot gets into the hot tub I get out.

You can see that I'm working through some contradictory impulses here.  I'm sure there is truth in all of them.