On The Other Hand . . .

Grateful:    Showing appreciation, being thankful.  (Ed. Note: I'm appalled that I have never looked this word up for inclusion in my blog.  Figures).

Here's my life . . . 

I'm a very healthy man.  I take no medication.  I have no serious injuries or funky diseases and my family history is free of some of the hereditary conditions that might reasonably be expected to eventually strike me down.  In fact, some of my progenitors have lived until they were nearly 100 years old.

My back is sore and out of sorts but doesn't appear to have any structural problems.  I'm taking good action - trying some new exercises and seeing a masseuse.  I'm attempting to learn from this - not exercising every day, picking up a class or two at my gym, substituting stretching and/or weights instead of my relentless aerobic exercise.  I don't need to exercise this much.  I need to keep moving but not as if some predatory animal is nipping at my heels.

I have a wonderful partnership with my long-suffering wife.  It has been a bit rocky over the last six months but that's mostly on me - I've commenced a long delayed sweeping of my side of the street  - and that is mostly understandable given what I've gone through.  I've been distant and unemotional and disengaged - not a good framework for a relationship.  We're working on this.  It has taken some time to dig this hole and it's going to take some time to get out of it.

My relationship with my sister has settled into a nice, historical equilibrium.  Not too close but close enough for both of us.  This is fine.  Not every family is as thick as thieves.

I'm blessed with a lot of friends and acquaintances.  A lot of people know who I am in a pleasant, cordial sort of way.  Some of them are close friends.  I have close friends here, in The Old City, and from way, way back.  These are real friends, too, not the drinking companions I hung out with in the day.  These people care about me and listen to me.  I'm not alone.  I don't have to go anything by myself when I can just remember this.

I seem to have enough money to pay my bills and to do some fun and nice things for myself.  The fact of the matter is that a lot of people are living check to check, one illness or car break-down or lay-off from disaster.  A lot of people have more bills than money.  I need to remember this more often, too.

I live in a nice mobile home.  We've got it fixed up OK.  It has enough room for the two of us and tons of light.  It's warm outside in the winter and cool in the summer.  I don't have an air conditioner - and don't need one - and I rarely run the heat.  That's pretty amazing.

My wife has a new very expensive car.
I have an almost new very expensive and very impractical car.

I'm aware that I've given my age too much power.  I'm a healthy, vibrant man with a lot of interests.  Focusing on a number is a negative, self-fulfilling affirmation.

Here are some positive affirmations:
This is the best time of my life.
It's going to be a good day.
Everything is going to work out.

There is a lesson here.  I'm still very resistant to the message.  If the message doesn't come from me then it's a bullshit message.