Listerine Man II

I've been pondering the dilemma of Listerine Man.  It's so difficult to get sober, isn't it?  I'm glad I'm on this side of drinking, to be honest with you.  But if I find myself in a situation where the solution appears to be drinking anything with alcohol in it, let alone mouthwash, I'm in a situation that is intolerable, a situation that must be changed.  I know this for myself but how do we convey that to someone who thinks that he has a lot to lose?  I feel sorry for the guy - he has a nice house that he doesn't want to leave and he has two small children that he loves a lot who live in the house and he works out of a home office in the house, all nice stuff, important stuff.  I struggle somewhat on how to tell a guy that this is all stuff that he may have to lose.  The Book is very specific about this - never let someone tell you that they have to restore family, finances, career, anything before they can get sober because it ain't true.

I think part of the problem for those of us with some sobriety is that our lives are usually pretty stable.  We're not losing big things anymore.  Not very often.  I can imagine that having someone with a nice house and a stable marriage and some money in the bank tell you that you have to Let Go might be irritating.

It made me reflect on my own life a bit.  Like a lot of alcoholics I was a very promising young man - like a lot of male alcoholics I should point out as the women among us, to a large degree, were not promising young men.  I digress.  I did well enough in high school to get a full scholarship to a good college, where I excelled.  In fact, I did so well that I was accepted early into optometry college - most of my classmates had degrees but I slipped in early by taking summer school and loading up on extra classes during the school year.  One time I had 7 final exams - 7!  So here I am, cruising along, drinking more and more, struggling more and more to complete my coursework - it's hard to remember in the morning what you've read the night before when you're drinking 3 quarts of Colt 45 and smoking a couple of joints every night - until my 5th year of college, when the drinking took me down.  I just couldn't keep up with the coursework and still drink as much as I wanted, so I did what a good drunk does - I chose to drink.

Yeah, they kicked me out.  4 1/2 years of college down the spit sink.  4 1/2 years of working toward a very specific goal and I didn't care enough to right the ship.

I drank uncontrollably for about 5 years until I somehow managed to pull it together enough to get a decent job managing a small office for a home health company.  Hard-working, bright, and charismatic like most drunks, I excelled again and was promoted 2 times in quick succession, ending up running a much larger office with more employees.  Again, the drinking became more important than the job and I was demoted in a very public and humiliating fashion.

When I came into The Fellowship I had no illusions that I could hang onto anything and still get sober.  Mostly because I didn't have anything left to hang onto.  I think the point is that I've earned my chair and I can tell someone that sobriety is more important to me than anything else I've got.