Very, Very Nice

Nice:  Agreeable; pleasant; delightful; kind; thoughtful; considerate.

The New City is a very nice city.  People are very nice here.  They're so nice that it makes me sick sometimes.  I want to throw up they're so nice.  The Old City had more of an edge to it.  You had to watch your step because what you said or did could easily annoy someone and provoke an angry reaction.  I've found it easier to be nice here myself because people are so eager to be nice in return.  It's a nice fest or a nice-off.  That being said I miss the dry sense of humor that I could trot out before - it's fun to act like a jerk on purpose from time to time.

Sarcasm:  Hate with a smile.

Anyway, before I totally lose my train of thought - and it's a slim thread I hang onto in the best of times - the point is, if I recall it correctly and I'm not sure that I do, is that it's so productive just to be nice to people.  There - I said it.  I have very little idea why this is such a surprising concept to me.  I like it when people are nice to me.  I've always liked it when people are nice to me, and I rarely enjoy running into the occasional ass, although it doesn't bother me as much as it used to, and I can often learn a little something from the encounter.

I have a friend in town who's single.  He's a very nice man and is working very hard on his recovery.  There's a woman at his job who he thinks is flirting with him a little bit.  It seems obvious to me that she is doing just that but I tried to keep my mouth shut as he talked to me about this, agonizing over what to do and how to interpret things and all the possible bear traps he could step into or the land minds he could detonate.  I'm sympathetic - it's hard being a teenager in a man's body.

It made me think about how I deal with people today that I don't know, especially women.  When I started to frequent my current coffee shop I made a big effort to ask the names of the staff members that I saw regularly.  Then, when I show up, I greet them by name.  I know the guys' names and the gals' names, although it's a little harder for me to talk to the women, partly because they're young and I don't want to come off any creepier than I do normally and partly because women can make me nervous.  It's amazing what happens when you walk into a place and greet someone by name.  The relationships warm up - all of them do - and some of them become a lot more personal.  

I'm so busy trying to get out in the future and find out what the end game is that I don't do the simple things that work so well.