Pie Man

Pie:  (slang) something extremely good or easy.

Yeah, well, what's on my mind right now is how much I can take out of the world today.  That's my goal - to get as much of the pie as I can get.  Given the slightest opening I'll eat the entire pie.  I'd live in a pie shop if I could, eating nothing but pie, and I don't even really like pie all that much.  I prefer cake but the only slogan that comes to mind is "that really takes the cake," and I'm not clear as to what that really means.  The point is this: if someone doesn't give me some pie right now I may have to buy a weapon and go rob a pie store.

I have to laugh at how much I expect to get out of life.  It's so implausible it's ridiculous.  When I'm unhappy it's almost always because my expectations are completely out of whack.  I think I deserve the entire pie.  I look down at my one or two or three measly pieces of pie and it feels like I've been screwed.

Who expects to be happy all of the time?  Who expects their spouse to fall in line, their children to toe the line, and their work life to be one big yuck? I do! I do!