Restless Desires.

Discontent:  Lack of contentment (Ed. Note: Duh.); dissatisfaction; restless desire for something more or different.  (Ed. Note: "Restless Desires" would be a great name for a trash novel).


This from a Step meeting today: "Can we steadfastly content ourselves with the humbler, yet sometimes more durable, satisfactions when the brighter, more glittering achievements are denied us?"


Of course I was called on to share.  My first inclination was to say: "I don't understand the question."  What I actually said: "That's is the stupidest thing I've ever heard."  Normally I tell people not to say the first thing that comes out of their mouth because it usually isn't that good.  In my case you have to get to like the 13th thing out of my mouth for it to even begin to have a hint of being any good.


So many times in our literature I read suggestions on how I can right-size myself to the actual size of my life.  It's awfully tempting to look greedily at big things and big expressions and big accomplishments.  The literature is constantly reminding me to take joy out of the small satisfactions of living.  Quit asking life to provide more than it does.  You can always ask for more.  You can always be disappointed in your serving size.


I really like that the definition of discontented implies that I'm looking for something different.  It doesn't say "better."  It says I'm looking for something else.  People asked me at the end of my drinking: "Why do you keep doing it if it makes you so miserable?"  It was hard to convey to them that all I wanted to do was get away from myself.  It wasn't about feeling better - it was about feeling different.  It was about being somewhere else, out of my own skin.