I REALLY Like That Hat

Compliment:  A formal act or expression of courtesy or respect.


I have to watch myself where my opinion is involved.  Especially when I'm dealing with people who rub me the wrong way.  That used to be everyone but because I'm such a totally healthy and well-adjusted guy today the number does not go much over 10 billion different and distinct individuals.  You might notice that this number far exceeds the population of earth.  You might deduce that I'm being forced to include several billion extraterrestrial types.  You would be right.  Give yourself a pat on the back.  Wonder why you believe in extraterrestrials.  Worry about the state of your mental health.


Anyway, you know you're dealing with a drunk when the guy has to go off-planet to find more people as targets for his self-righteous ire.


My best bet is to keep my mouth firmly shut when an urge to share my opinion arises.  This is also great advice when the urge to talk arises, unless I want to pay someone a compliment or maybe give sketchy directions to someone from out of town.  If I must speak I need to really pay attention to what I'm saying, how I say it, the tone and tenor and timbre of what comes out of my mouth.


To wit: If I don't particularly care for some dude I used to make subtle comments, always behind his back, like: "That guy is a real asshole."  After a few bloody noses administered by hoary heads in recovery I quit doing that.  Instead of stopping the behavior totally, the right thing to do, I opted to make some slight improvement, as you might expect from someone who's nickname used to be "Half-Measures Seaweed."  Maybe it still is.  What do I know?  The action that I decided to take was to hone my passive-aggressive tendencies.  I shifted to comments like this: "My opinion of this guy -- and I want to stress that this is only my opinion, it may or may not be a fact, and you're free to think or act any way that you wish -- is that he's a real asshole."


I convinced myself that I was really making some progress when I did this.  I have trouble being nice to people I don't particularly care for -- again, a large number -- so I mask my disdain with a "compliment."  You know the type: "Wow, have you lost a ton of weight!" or "I really admire the courage you're showing wearing that hat out in public."


As you can clearly see, I have a long way to go.