One of my favorite spiritual concepts suggests that I should try to wear the world like a loose garment. I was not familiar with the idea of "loose" when I was drinking. I wore the world like an extremely tight garment. This garment did have the advantage of displaying my equipment for the whole world to see, like a band member from Spinal Tap, but that was about it. I can honestly say today that the tightness of the garment was an impediment and not an advantage. The beauty of hindsight.
When I try to sum up what my sobriety means, what my halting pursuit of spiritual principles has brought to the table, I can say with some small amount of honesty that I don't take things so seriously anymore. Everything works out, more or less, as long as I don't try to get in there and tinker with the outcomes so what exactly am I getting so exercised about?
I took a vacation once to Belize. The crappy hotel we stayed at had a go-fer named George. George was not going to discover the cure to cancer. He mostly puttered around, slowly, raking the sand, straightening up, and the like. I liked George.
"Morning, George," I'd say.
"It's all good," he'd reply.
This acceptance is the result of a desire to seek a higher power and to try to listen to what the higher power has to say. And I still get confused as to what this entails. So I don't think about it much. I give it my best shot. I move forward, slowly, and try to get a feel for where I should head. I take some wrong turns, I get lost, I fall in holes, but mostly I make a little progress each day.
It's all good.
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