Mr. Puzzlewit

Puzzle:    To exercise one's mind, as over the solution of a problem.


I used to think that life was a problem that needed to be solved.  Such a great concept on which to base my life: a never-ending series of problems.  I'm a problem person so I guess it makes sense that I took something lovely and made it a distasteful chore.


Today I try to think of life as a puzzle that needs to be put together.  A somewhat complicated puzzle.  Sure, there are some easy areas with a lot of detail and recognizable figures but there's also a lot of nondescript blue sky as well.  Have you ever seen one of those puzzles that's nothing more than a black canvas, all the pieces about the same shape and size?  That was my life before I got sober.  I sat there and looked at the pieces all day.  I was lost.  I never got anywhere.  The only time I made any progress was when I got out the pinking shears and glue, and made pieces fit.


Every day I get up and sit down at my puzzle table and get to work.  Some days I put together a whole section and some days I can't figure out where one $#!! piece fits.  Every now and then my consigliere comes over and whispers in my ear, and I have to tear out a whole section that I put together incorrectly.


But over the long run I make progress.  I can look back and see progress.  I've managed to ratchet down my expectations so that I don't insist on making a pre-determined unit of progress each day.  I do my best and I usually go forward.  Sometimes I sit still, idling, and sometimes I go back, but I take my place at the table each day.