Appearances

Appearance:  Generally refers to the outward impression of a thing while often implying mere show or pretense.


I do a great job of quickly sizing up someone based solely on their appearance, placing them in a category with strict qualifications, then loving them or despising them accordingly.  This happens fast. The funny thing -- not ha ha funny but sad pathetic funny -- is that I'm almost never right in my judgment.  I put people in a Box.  It's very difficult to get out of my Boxes.  I assume everyone else does it to me so I've developed a lot of mere show and pretense to fake out the competition.  Look left and go right with a head fake thrown in for good measure.


In the Old City I had a guy ask me to be his sponsor.  He looked like a Hell's Angel.  I mean, really: shaved head, goatee, tattoos, Harley cycle, the whole bit.  Really one of the nicest guys I've worked with in The Program: smart, kind, good sense of humor, a real pleasure to know.  Now, I'm not saying he didn't do some damage with a belly full of beer when he was in his day but I never got to see that.  All I know is that he looked like a Hell's Angel but acted like a social worker.

I've learned today to set aside the impressions that I form based on someone's appearance or the type of car they drive or what kind of work they do or where they live and go over and talk to the person.  It's not natural.  This is an acquired taste.  I've found that the people I put in the Cool Box turn out to be not so cool and the people that I don't think are going to be worth my precious, precious, precious time end up being so worth my precious, precious time.  You used to be Better Than Me and I resented you, or you were Worse Than Me, and I scorned your very existence.


This has to be more control.