Twin Bookends

I've gotten to see The Program in action this week, which means my eyes are open and I've removed the  industrial ear plugs for a minute.  The Program is in action all the time; it's me that isn't in action.  Anyway, I listened to a couple of instances where members had some crappy things happen to them but Surprise! they were still among the living.  There were smiles -- or strained grimaces, at least -- and there was an appreciation of what we can take out of setbacks and adversity.  I never learned a thing from adversity when I was drinking, unless it would be important additional skills to try to avoid any future adversity.  I burn a lot of energy trying to stay in character as a 5 year old spoiled brat in the body of a middle-aged spoiled brat who doesn't want anything painful to happen, ever.


It made me reflect on the twin bookends of our Promises.  On one hand, we learn that we don't have to fear the past or shut the door on it.  Then we learn that the future isn't going to be a total disaster, full of monsters and termites and strangler figs.  The goal, as I understand it, is to try to wedge myself into The Moment.  It's a nice place to be.  I'm always OK in the moment, especially when I can strip away my fear of losing something I have and my fear of not getting something I want.


This sounded a lot more profound when I wrote it this morning.