Middlemarch

Middle: A point or part halfway between extremes; central point, part, time, etc.; something intermediate.

As the Moody Blues have counseled:
"Ride! Ride my seesaw!"

Seesaw: Any back-and-forth or up-and-down motion, action, or tendency.

That's a great word. It has no definite origin, being merely a bastardization of the word "saw." It's a great metaphor, too, for how I used to live: wild fluctuations between improbable extremes. Everything was either a disaster or a miracle. I saw no nuance in life. I was getting EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED or I was pissed off.

It's not for everyone, I realize, but I try to occupy that middle ground. I try to look at fear, pain, stress, and life's other little unpleasantries with an analytical eye. I try to see what those things are telling me. Sometimes they are giving me good information: don't hit the big guy, for instance, is a great example of good fear. SOMETHING TERRIBLE IS SURE TO HAPPEN is a great example of bad fear.

I'm trying to heat the house this morning without burning it down. Good fire -- bad fire.