Holiday Cheer.

The holidays. The actual root of this word, of course, comes from Holy Days.

I'm amazed every year at the power of the holidays. There is a lot of potential for disaster when we try to get our hands around the simple concept of dealing with family and friends and trying to pretend that the retailers aren't ruling the world. That and reconciling the fact that a lot of the significance has clearly been pilfered from ancient pagan religions that have little to do with our modern traditions. I mean, c'mon, how did we get from frankincense and myrrh to Death Match IX -- Fatal Blow , on sale at $249.99?


This time seems to swell up and crash down on us with the violence of a volcano. It's not like we don't see it coming. The mountain has been shaking and rumbling and spewing ash for weeks. We know that something's up. We can barely drink our cup of coffee because of all of the vibration.

Some of us have learned to get out of the way. But some of us sit there slowly disappearing as the ash rains down. Future generations will uncover us, frozen in a heated argument with an obscure second cousin that we see once a year and couldn't care less about, brandishing a turkey leg like an Arab scimitar. We're Charlie Brown making yet another run at Lucy holding that damn football. We can't believe it when we end up on our back again.

I don't mean to suggest that there aren't family gatherings and religious celebrations that look like a Norman Rockwell painting, whoever the hell he was. I'm sure there are, somewhere, in a distant galaxy millions of light years away. Good for you freaky people. I have no idea how you do it but I celebrate your accomplishment.

The rest of us should take a deep breath and hang in there. If you struggle during the holidays know that you aren't alone. I see more pissed off, rude people bulldozing their way through this time than in any other time. I'm going to speculate that the expectations and pressure make this very difficult for a lot of us.

Nobody really cares if the food isn't perfect or the gift isn't the best. I always ask: what did you get last year? Nobody can remember, so it must not have been that important. If you burn the toast put out a box of Fruit Loops. If the day is really about your family and faith the cereal will be fine. If it's about making a big showy splash, you're probably screwed anyway, because whatever you do won't be good enough.

Ho. Ho. Ho.