Brad? Brad??!!?

I go to a very busy Starbucks from time to time for my totally unneccesary morning cup of coffee. My engine is at full power the minute my eyes click open; I don't need no stinking coffee to wake up. To thwart confusion they ask for your name which they put on the cup so that the drinks don't get mixed up. If I got someone's miso peppermint half-calf latte instead of my cup of coffee I would FREAK OUT. And hopefully I wasted my time explaining why they put your name on the cup. Hopefully you knew why they do that. If you don't, you deserve to get someone else's Carmel mocha frappuccino with sprinkles. I would never drink something that has been sprinkled.

Anyway, to amuse myself I always give a different name. Today I used Brad in honor of my friend, well, Brad. I have used normal names so far but I'm thinking of going foreign soon. I have my eye on Boris. SuperK wants me to dive right in with Sergio.

"I think I can pull a 'Boris' off. I think I could pass for Russian," I said. "I don't think I can do 'Sergio.' I don't look Latin at all."

She stared at me a couple of beats too long. I got a little uncomfortable.

"You're giving fake names at Starbucks," she said.

"I think I hear my phone ringing," I replied, exiting the room.

Anyway, today the woman who takes your order and signs your cup before giving it to the woman who takes the money for the drink must have misrouted the cup. The coffee line stops for no man so I was shushed onward before the cup was located. Somehow it made it to the woman who actually makes the drink, or gives it to the woman who makes the drink. I had no idea who was doing what to the cup of coffee at that point. There are a lot of stops at this place. I feel like I'm watching people make Model-Ts.

I'm standing there stupidly looking at this woman.
"Brad?" she asks.
"Brad?" she says again. "Brad?! Brad??!"

Something deep in my brain clicks and I raise my hand, and confirm the drink order. She must have thought I was on Thorazine.

I leaned over to the guy behind me and whispered: "My name's not really Brad."

He didn't say anything.