Pain is Inevitable - Suffering is Not

I'm going to share some more thoughts from Venerable Henepola Gunaratana.  I am grateful for such a well-considered recap of some ideas that I find essential to my recovery, first of all, and to my spiritual growth, also first of all.  Normally, I can choose a first of all but these two are both so good I can't pick.  I find that the following stuff is often found in any type of spiritual or religious program.  

 

"You are going to run into problems.  The main trick in dealing with obstacles is to adopt the right attitude.  Difficulties are an integral part of your life.  They aren't something to be avoided.  They are something to be used.  They provide invaluable opportunities for learning.  The reason we are all stuck in life's mud is that we ceaselessly run from our problems and after our desires.  (More money!  More power!!  More sex!!!)  But there is no pleasure without some degree of pain.  There is no pain without some amount of pleasure.  Life is composed of joys and miseries.  Don't think you are special.  You are not special.  Even me - I'm not special and I'm pretty fucking special.

It is essential to learn to confront the less pleasant aspects of existence.  In the long run, avoiding unpleasantness is a very unkind thing to do to yourself.  One popular human strategy for dealing with difficulty is autosuggestion: when something nasty pops up you convince yourself it is not there, or you convince yourself it is pleasant rather than unpleasant.  Buddhism advises you not to implant feelings that you don't really have or avoid feelings that you do have.  If you are miserable you are miserable; that is the reality, that is happening, so confront it.  And this is so not what an alcoholic wants to do.  An alcoholic wants to numb that pain and avoid it until later when it can be numbed again."

Okay, obviously I added a few things in there.  There are no bad words in this book unless you want to say that "pain" is a bad word.  And Venerable actually adds this comment: "Pain is inevitable, suffering is not."  Man, that's one of my main credos of life.  As I've said when I'm asked how I'm doing I usually reply that "I've never had a bad day."  To any skeptical looks I usually add that I've had plenty of painful days but very few bad ones that weren't of my own making.