You Have To Do It

"Meditation deals with levels of consciousness which lie deeper than symbolic thought.  There are deeper ways to understand things than by the use of words.  You understand how to walk.  You probably can't describe the exact order in which your never fibers and your muscles contract during that process.  But you can do it.  Meditation needs to be understood that same way, by doing it.  It is not something that you can learn in abstract terms.  It is not something to be talked about.  It is something to be experienced."                 Venerable Henepola Gunaratana

During my Quiet Time today I was thinking about the guy who I don't like who keeps glomming onto me for my beach walks and fucking everything up.  It's not even that I don't like him - it's that I don't find him very interesting.  He is a typical extrovert - way too excited about things that don't seem to warrant much excitement.  He likes to stop and explain something that he finds fascinating but holds no interest for me.  He likes to stop and point things out that I don't find interesting.  Again, I'm not saying they're not interesting but just that they're not interesting to me.  And it's alllllllllll about me.

If I was a touch braver I'd tell him: "Look.  These walks are my exercise time.  I don't want to stop and look at stuff or chat.  And I'm obsessed with music so it'a great time for me to explore new music or to call friends who live back East.  Sometimes I just walk and count in my breaths in a walking meditation."  What's wrong with that?  Well, for one thing I'm pretty sure he knows that he's not my cup of tea.  And being an extrovert he doesn't spend any time wondering why this is so or - better yet - why he feels compelled to spend any time with me at all.  It's not unusual for me to talk to someone and think: "This dude is not even remotely interested in the things that interest me."  Fair enough.  Walk away.  Quit banging your head against the wall.  My hesitation is in part because he would take this information as a personal criticism when the fact of the matter is there are very few people I'd want joining me on my daily walks.

The things I have to think about . . .  As you can see I'm not exactly top shelf when it comes to meditating quietly.