Work?!

 I steadfastly maintain that the emphasis on self-examination is one of the most important lessons I've learned in Alcoholics Anonymous.  It's always about me and it's never about you and it makes no difference if you've actually behaved badly or not.  My job is to look inside and heal myself, to generate massive loads of compassion for others while minimizing my own good qualities, as elusive and miniscule as they are.  Meditation is a great enabler for me in this pursuit of compassion.  It makes me more ready to forgive and forget.  I feel love toward others because I understand them.  And I understand them because I have begun to understand myself.  I have tried to look deeply inside and see self-illusion and my own human  failings.  I have seen my own humanity and learned to forgive and to love.  Without some compassion for myself I don't have much compassion for others.

One of my go-to bits of wisdom for new people is to inquire how much time they're willing to put into their recovery.  I would walk over hot coals to get at some alcohol while balking at going out to a meeting if it's sprinkling or below freezing.  While this number is hard to quantify the point is that the time I've spent on my recovery is a drop in the bucket compared to the time I spent drinking, preparing to drink, recovering from drinking, along with all the time spent cleaning up messes with cops, courts, doctors, employers, etc.  It's nothing.  I tell people this because it's one of the things I need to hear myself.  If someone balks at the work they may not be ready to get sober because - let's face it - there's work involved.