Total Inability

Total:  Complete; absolute.

"But it is from our twisted relations with family, friend, and society at large that many of us have suffered the most.  We have been especially stupid and stubborn about them.  The primary fact that we fail to recognize is our total inability to form a true partnership with another human being.  We have not once sought to be one in a family, to be a friend among friends, to be a worker among workers, to be a useful member of society.  Always we tried to struggle to the top of the heap, or to hide underneath it.  This self-centered behavior blocked a partnership relation  with any one of those about us.  Of true brotherhood we had small comprehension."

"To see how erratic emotions victimized us often took a long time.  We could perceive them quickly in others, but only slowly in ourselves.  Where other people were concerned, we had to drop the word 'blame' from our speech and thought.  This required great willingness even to begin."

"We learned that if we were seriously disturbed, our first need was to quiet that disturbance, regardless of who or what we thought caused it."