All Without My Input

 Only in A.A. . . . 

Now that things are opening up in SoCal the great Resorting of live versus Zoom A.A. meetings is beginning.  Every time I get bent out of shape when the personalities in A.A. are in conflict I have to shake my head and laugh about the personalities in A.A.  We are people who are prone to conflict.  We don't like being told what to do.  We're argumentative and judgmental and intolerant.  Each one of us - every man woman and child - thinks that they have the best ideas and then they spend every waking minute trying to convince everyone else this is so and if they can't they develop great, big, virulent resentments which they're loath to give up even if it makes me . . . er . . . them . . . miserable.

I took two phone calls yesterday - the first from one of my most beloved women friends in A.A. and one from the long-timer who served as my temporary sponsor when I first came to town, obviously a guy I have a lot of respect for.  The "Keep It Simple If By Simple You Mean Complicated As Hell" group received a letter from the church indicating that the facility was beginning to reopen and that the meeting would soon be welcome to return at a reduced capacity.  Because CA is on the fast-track to a complete relaxation of restrictions this reopening may move along with alacrity with more and more people being permitted to attend.

Because complication is the theme of the group the two factions decided to put together a steering committee to address some different issues: Are the two meetings looking to recombine?  At the old place or the new one?  Should we stay separate and just have two different meetings?  Etc. etc. etc.  I don't even know what a steering committee is so I stayed about 100 miles away from that whole thing.  I got a resentment hearing the phrase "steering committee."

My girlfriend is about three years sober; she works in a county office that has a lot of contact with the public so being around strangers inside is a daily occurrence; she has a steady boyfriend but he's out of town a lot in his capacity as a Cal Fire employee so she's alone too much; and she has a 10 year old daughter who has had to stay home from school most days complicating her home life even further.  She also has been attending the in-person meeting the two days a week that her work schedule permits.  Initially, this annoyed me.  But listening to her talk yesterday I was nudged to consider the circumstances of her life and how frustrating it must be to deal with the isolation when she was in contact with people all day long anyhow so what's one more hour?  She said: "I just had had it with Zoom."  It felt different from the ringleaders of the break-away who - in my humble opinion - were implicitly stating more personal, political attitudes about a live meeting.  It was a good call for me.

Then my old temporary sponsor called.  He and I see eye to eye on a lot of issues but I have slotted him into the "California Nice" crowd.  It's no neat stereotype that doesn't ring true out here - people really are super-nice.  (Super is big here - everything is super-happy or super-cool.)  I can't get anyone to get pissed about anything - a real hindrance for someone who's mostly annoyed about everything.  He has invited a few of the regulars from the new Zoom - old Keep It Simple over to his house to discuss how we move forward.  He actually attended a couple of the live meetings and was, I think, sort of taken aback by the simmering animosity and low-level grievance he could feel.  It sounds like the ringleaders at that meeting have tossed down a gauntlet - we're not coming back to the old meeting place and you're welcome to join us here.

So my guess is that some of the people I really don't like all that much aren't returning and most of the people that I really do like will be.  Because our attendance will be much reduced in size we may have an issue with making our rent payment but I can't see the church tossing us out.

All without me doing anything.  Hmmm Hmm Hmm.