Blue Collar God

"Misuse of willpower.  Our whole trouble had been the use of willpower.  We are certain that our intelligence, backed by willpower, can rightly control our inner lives and guarantee us success in the world we live in."

Proper:  Specifically adapted or suitable to a specific purpose.

"It is the proper use of the will."

The following vignettes come from this morning's meeting . . . 

People in A.A. have taught me how to care about others.  Really care - not the surfacey, quid pro quo caring I did when I was drinking.  When I was growing up I always felt like I was on the outside looking in.  Most people seemed to get it.  They seemed to get most things.  I got very little.

I have trouble differentiating my will from God's will.  As a general rule if I really want something or really want to avoid something I don't think God is too involved.

In A.A. we aren't so much brothers and sisters in virtue but rather comrades in defects.  I like to use the word "broken" to describe my general state when I first got here.  I never liked the phrase "sick alcoholic."  A whiff of judgmental morality wafts off of that phrase.

Spiritual:  Of or pertaining to the spirit or the soul; pertaining to God; incorporeal; not material.

The topic today was "picking up the simple kit of spiritual tools."  Or maybe it was "picking up the kit of simple spiritual tools."  "Simply picking up the kit of very simple tools?"  I wasn't listening too closely, apparently.  This is hard stuff to do.  It isn't complicated stuff but it can be hard to put into action.  "Be Nice" or at least "Don't Be Such An Asshole," for instance, aren't revolutionary concepts but they can be astonishingly hard to practice.  A.A. didn't come up with the concepts of loving others more than loving yourself.  Nonetheless, hard to put into action when dealing with the various and sundry assholes out there getting in my way.

Yesterday we read out of The Big Book (Fun Fact: It was called the Big Book originally because, in an attempt to make the volume seem like a good value - hopefully attracting the attention of cheap alcoholics -  it was printed on cheap stock which was by nature thicker and meatier.  If you were going to get a cheap alcoholic to buy a book it worked better if it was big.) from Bill's Story.  It was the section where his alcohol-soaked brain cracked open just a bit and he was actually considering the benefits of finding a spiritual path.  A lot of us are very, very logical, very, very skeptical, unwilling to accept anything that can't be clearly proven.  I'm a scientist, drawn to scientific disciplines because of the beauty of the facts, the indisputable facts.  Things are or they are not.  Things can be proven and they can be repeated over and over with exactly the same results, if they're done correctly.  There is a right way and a wrong way.  A spiritual awakening can't operate like this.  It's unique to each individual.  We can get guidance and direction but then it's best to go with the flow, let 'er rip and see where you end up.  I always believed in God but it wasn't a practical God.  Today my Higher Power is a God that works.  He's blue collar all the way.

Blue Collar God would be an excellent name for a hard rock band.