Rich and Famous Seaweed

This is why I have no friends . . . 

I was talking to a "friend" after the meeting this morning about the 4th Step inventory he's currently working on.  He has done the first three columns where you list the people that you currently resent; the cause (or reason) for the particular resentment associated with this person; and what it affects, usually something in the Sex! Power!! Money!!! departments.  Then there is sort of an unofficial 4th column, not really found in The Book but popular with alcoholics, where one tries to figure one's part in the particular resentment, as loath as we are to do this.

"The best part is when you get to the 6th column," I said.  I didn't even pretend to stop at the 5th column.  That's how I am - I get way down the road real fast. 

He sort of half-smiled, looking a little perplexed.

"Yeah, the 6th column," I continued, pressing my advantage.  "That's where you get to blame everyone else.  That's where you find out it really IS them.  It isn't you after all."

He hesitated a minute.  

"Are you serious?" he asked.

I still got it.  I can still lie with the best of them.

I tell the truth today, by and large, because it's the right thing.  I don't believe for a minute that it's the most enjoyable thing to do.  Lying is much more enjoyable.  It gets you out of tight spots and makes you look better in the eyes of other on the occasions where you get away with a whopper; for instance, convincing someone that you're an NFL quarterback.  People look at you with more admiration when they think you're rich and famous.  Plus, I have a long history of lying and a strong natural ability to lie.

I'm telling the truth here.