The Ackerman Effect

I saw a buddy at the morning meeting today for the first time in a few weeks.  We chatted for a while and he walked with me down to see my Very Expensive Car.  He was parked in the other direction so he hopped in and let me drive him to his car which - coincidentally - is a Nice Car, but not a Very Expensive Car.  This means I was top dog this morning in the car department.  I was feeling pretty good about that until I realized that this is why most people loathe owners of Very Expensive Cars.  Thus my rationale for parking a couple of blocks away from the meeting for the first couple of months.  I'm not a people pleaser even though what other people think of me is very important.  I'm dying for your affection and attention while sneering down at you in disdain.  It's not easy but I think I pull it off.

My friend is a real car guy - someone who understands how cars work and so on and so forth - not a shallow poseur like me who still doesn't know where the fuck the engine is.  In fact, he works at an auto parts store.  He's the real deal.

I pulled a quick U-turn so that I could get back to his car without stressing myself unduly by driving around the block.  I had to get this task done fast.  I have noticed that when I make a very sharp turn at low speeds - especially when the car is still warming up in the awful, distressing 65 degree weather that passes for winter here in Vacation City - that my car makes a weird thumping or clunking noise.  It's all "thunk thunk thunk" for a little while.  I have noticed this noise before and I'm not happy about it.  My solution is usually to really turn up the Black Sabbath.  If I can't here it then it doesn't exist.

This dude says: "Whoa.  What's that noise?"

If you want to cut a guy with a Very Expensive Car down to size that is an excellent opening line.  He then suggested that I "might want to get that checked out."  He assured me that it was probably normal but that it wouldn't hurt to investigate it further.

As you might imagine I had an unpleasant drive home, imagining Very Expensive Repairs, the major bane of owning a Very Expensive Car.  I was wondering why I sold my perfectly reasonable older car to put myself in this position.  Again.

It all worked out.  I did some research and found that this was a normal noise for my kind of car in those very specific situations.  In fact it has a name: The Ackerman Effect.  I shit you not - look it up.

If your car is subject to The Ackerman Effect you should sell that car immediately.