Everyone Is Above Average

Service: An act of being of assistance to someone.  (Ed. Note: And possible loophole.  I'm someone, technically, so if I act to assist myself then that qualifies as Service.  Note to self: check with sponsor).

I've been thinking some more about the concept of service, the idea of giving back instead of using my grubby little hands to seize additional stuff for my own personal use.  It's such an amazing concept.  It's as fascinating to me as someone asking if they could stop by to show me their new flying car.  I see myself standing outside saying: "Dude, that is a fucking flying car."  This is roughly equivalent to me giving of myself.  Maybe it can be done but it's so outlandish that it strains credulity.

"Let me get this straight," I say, struggling to maintain composure, choking back peals of laughter, tears of joy.  "You want me to do something nice for you with no guarantee that you'd do something at least as nice - preferably a lot more nice - for me?"  At this point I'd collapse in a paroxysm of guffaws.  I might not survive, unable to get enough oxygen down a windpipe totally obstructed by laughter.

Surveys of people often show that most of us feel like we're giving more than we're getting.  This, as you can easily see, is not possible.  It violates the laws of nature.  As an example . . . one of my favorite surveys attempts to quantify how we view the act of driving a car - the result is that most of us think that we're very good drivers while simultaneously holding the belief that almost everyone else sucks.  Again, statistically not possible.  

Let's go to Vacation Town, where everyone is above average!

Part of my trouble is that I'm a Big Splash Guy - if my actions aren't amazing, earth-shattering, universe-bending, then why bother?  It has to be huge or I'm not interested.  No one will notice if it's not huge and the whole idea of doing good things is to be noticed.  It's like those people who give money anonymously.  WTF?  Really?

Go Big or Go Home.

So there I am, breaking my arm patting myself on the back as I wheel my shopping cart back to the cart corral at the grocery store, making life a little easier for someone that will never be able to acknowledge my part in this act.  Pick up a piece of garbage and toss it in a can.  Say hello to every service person you run into.  No glory, no acclaim, no notice, not doing it.