Keep Your Options Open or Make a Decision - One or the Other

I've enjoyed pondering the difference between people who delay decisions - preferring to keep their options open in case something better comes along - with folks like me who make decisions early and stick with the plan.  For the most part I'm glad I'm wired like that - I pick an option and I sail blithely ahead, not worrying overly much about what the consequences are, even though I know the consequences have often sucked the big one.  I wonder how much of this is due to my core being and how much is due to the fact that I've come to learn I can't predict outcomes.  All I can do is take appropriate steps - "do the next right thing" some asshole once told me - and move forward into my day.  I just don't see that I can figure out what's going to happen next.  I can't count all of the times that I made a good, solid, well-reasoned decisions only to have the project blow the %$!! up and I certainly can't count all the times some awful, disastrous, just-kill-me outcome ended up being in my best interest in the long run.  I don't know shit about shit, basically.

Because I don't learn anything by thinking I have to see life in action to find out how things work.  To wit: my dear friend Elder Low retired a few years ago from a job that required him to relocate frequently, the downside being that he never really had a home base, a landing pad, a permanent home.  Being a "keep all my options open" kind of guy he has spent the last couple of years scouring the country, making an exhaustive study of every possible eventuality, often retracing once-rejected locations to take a second look.  As a "make a decision" kind of guy my inclination has been to say "make a decision."  I don't think I did this - I hope I didn't do this - because it would be unfair and presumptuous for me to ask someone to run counter to their core being.  I don't have a very good idea how the mind of a "keep all my options" person operates so I'm the last person qualified to dole out advice on what they should do.

Ironically, the dude is going to settle in a place that I thought would have been a great choice two years ago and while I'm sure he's happy to have made the decision, I can only assume that he's probably wondering if he really, truly did properly vet all of the possibilities, true to his essence to the end.  My inclination in this instance is to think: "See? I really did know better."

But here's the flip side to "make a decision:" sometimes you make a crappy decision and stick with it far, far too long.  When I was a boy I decided that I was going to study to become an optometrist.  There was nothing inherently wrong with this decision - I would have had a good, stable job that would have let me - the first person in my family to pursue an advanced degree - lead a comfortable life.  I also had some practical considerations to make - my schooling was expensive and I didn't have the luxury of flip-flopping around.  That being said I picked something that required me to study things that I disliked studying and had no natural aptitude for.  I struggled and failed.  A "keep all your options open" guy like Elder Low was probably tempted to say: "Move on, chump, cut your losses and move on"  long before the whole thing crumbled.  At the same time I watched him cycle through a number of career possibilities before finding a niche for which he was well-suited  and where he thrived.  He kept his options open, didn't hang around overly long and it was the best thing to do.  I made a decision, stuck with it forever, and it was not the best thing to do.  Moreover, it took me several years after that to find my niche - one that had been suggested to me by many, many people, by the way.

One of the great attractions of The Fellowship is that as a general rule we simply say: "This is what I did.  This is what worked for me."  We don't presume to know what's going to work well for someone else.  We don't have that kind of wisdom and foresight.  Oh, sure, we stumble into the right answer from time to time but that's more luck than talent.  We listen, we share our experience, strength, and hope, and we keep our mouths shut.  Or try to, at least.