Angry, Yelling Seaweed!!

A few nights later - still doing fine, no problems at all, "nothing to look at here, folks, please move along!" - I toodled into my regular Wednesday night meeting, aware that I was still a little off my game, that I shouldn't . . . you know . . . open my mouth and talk.  A solid member was chairing the meeting so I thought it was going to be safe to sit quietly,  listen and learn.  Then, dude sitting next to me, in the front row, in full view of everyone, starts messing around with his cell phone.  It really, really annoys me when people sit in a meeting and mess around on a cell phone, especially in the front row - if you're going to blatantly not listen to what someone is saying at least have the courtesy to tuck yourself into an obscure corner.  I figure that it would only be slightly less disrespectful to bring in a newspaper to read, or to watch a football game on a portable The TV as long as you're using a headset.  I understand that you can mess around on a phone and listen to the meeting proceedings, kind of, sort of getting the drift of what's being said, but I simply don't believe that very many of us are so important that we can't get through an hour without communicating with the outside world.  I didn't see any emergency room surgeons or diplomats negotiating international arms treaties present that night.  If people were doing that when I was new and trying to hork up the courage to share, to bear my soul, to talk in front of a group, I don't know if I would have come back.  I realize cell phone use is more ubiquitous and accepted now, and I have to balance that with some rules of common courtesy.

"Don't talk, don't talk, don't say anything," I was mumbling to myself as I leaned in and quietly said: "Could you not do that?"  Dude whispers back that he was just doing something or the other, an explanation that I didn't listen to because, frankly, I didn't care what he was doing.  Put the phone down!  Dude was a big dude; dude shared later about spending a couple of years in prison; Seaweed Dude started to regret sticking his nose into Prison Dude's business.  I mean - who made me President of The Fellowship?

(Ed. Note: I spoke to the guy after the meeting, apologized halfheartedly, more out of fear that genuine regret, and we seemed to clear the air and come away with no hard feelings - whew.  

Ed Note to Self: don't say anything to big dudes until sure that there isn't a long history of felonious violence to consider).

Left shoe in mouth, I pondered the possibility of also getting my right shoe in there - I have a pretty big mouth so this is definitely a doable action.  Next up was a mentally ill woman who has gotten on literally everyone's last nerve at every meeting she attends - she always talks, she never talks about recovery, and she has a tendency to go off on side rants about religion and how terribly the world treats her.  Tonight, very agitated, she begins to disparage a private clubhouse in the area that, finally exasperated, banned her from the premises.  The chairperson started to interrupt after a few minutes, reminding her of the 3 minute-to-share rule, when she jumps up from her seat and dances around, declaring that she WAS going to talk, that no one could stop her from talking.

I seethed.  I roiled.  I had had enough, I couldn't keep the damn mouth shut any longer.  "Jane Doe, please sit down," I said pretty loudly.  "Please sit down and be quiet!" I said very loudly when she tried to talk over me.  This went on for 30 seconds or so, a few other members beginning to chime in, before she said: " Thanks for letting me share," and sat down.

So . . . what happened there?  Did I do the old-timer thing and help maintain order in the meeting?  Or did I decide that I was the arbiter of good behavior, that it was my job to run things?  Did someone new see a good member acting appropriately or an angry man yelling at a woman who was trying to speak?  I don't know the answer to that.

I didn't talk at the meeting this morning, I'll tell you what.