The New Guy

There was a newish guy here that called me a while back.  It's always a thrill when a new guy takes my number and actually calls.  Maybe it's me.  Maybe new guys call you people but they sure as shit aren't burning my phone up.  Come to think of it the old-timers aren't calling me, either; my friends don't call me.  Why the hell am I on the phone all the time?

It wasn't always like this.  I hated the phone when I was starting out, too.  The 1000lb phone.  I said that I didn't want to bother anyone, that I didn't have anything pressing to talk about, although the fact of the matter is I didn't want to pick up the fucking phone.  I had all of the answers.  I didn't require any help from any of you lesser mortals.

I could tell this guy was in a hurry to get off the phone.  He may have called one more time but probably not.  I called him a few times which he seemed to appreciate and I texted him a few times to similar effect.  Then, a couple of texts with no response.  I called today.  One more call.  I don't mean to sound any more arrogant than I already am but I do think it's the responsibility of the new people to reach out.  Gotta do the work.

I didn't enjoy the conversation today.  It sounded like he may have picked up recently although I couldn't get a straight answer about that.  He spent a lot of time talking about his anxiety and how severe it is and how he stays sober for a bit until the anxiety gets so bad that he doesn't have anyway else to relieve the pain.

I had coffee with him a while back and shared some of my struggles with anxiety (what's that LWSJ?  "Prone to anxiety?") and some of the things that I do to help tamp down the symptoms: meditation, yoga, exercise, etc.  I think I mentioned that these are accessories to The Steps.  I hope I did.  All of this stuff is helpful but if I'm not in The Program working on The Steps I got nothin'.  

I heard a lot about classes and deep breathing and guided meditation tapes but not a word about The Fellowship.  I deleted his contact from my phone.  I don't mind receiving calls from people trying to find their way and listening to the occasional flights of delusion.  That's one thing.   It's another thing altogether to make the call myself and take that kind of abuse.  If the dude is trying I'm cool with that - if I'm bothering him at his home when he's not trying then I'm not being of much help.