Instinctual Drunks Investigating a Rampage

Drunks are smart and drunks have good hearts and they act like their brains are disconnected half of the time.

A few weeks ago the Drunks Across the Street were in a tizzy.  They noticed that a couple of birds had gotten inside the house next door.   This had happened once before and the owners had driven up and freed the trapped fowl.  The Drunks tried calling the owners and texting the owners but this time didn't get any response.  They didn't know what to do but that didn't stop them from doing something.  They sprang into action.

I went outside to view the commotion and saw one of the Drunks standing on the second floor balcony, shooshing the birds out the windows from which he had removed the screens.  I thought this was pretty strange but was reassured by the fact that it was daytime and they were all being pretty open about the burglary.  I mean, I personally wouldn't break into a house with the intent to steal in the middle of the day while shouting and screaming and generally calling attention to myself.  I didn't know the name of the particular Drunk who was committing the Class 2 felony so he paused and introduced himself, as he stood on the second floor of the house that he had just broken into.  He was in a great mood.  He smiled a lot and took some time to chat with me about nothing in particular

The house was alarmed, of course, and the police came.  They gave The Drunks a pretty thorough grilling, to great outrage from The Drunks.  Their intentions were good and this justified their unreasonable actions.  They thought the cops were being real hard-ass about it.  They were special so they got to do what they wanted.  They didn't mean any harm.

I never meant any harm.  I just did what I wanted to do.  I didn't let any stinking laws get in my way.