Drunks

The place that I'm renting is right across the street from a couple of beat-up apartment buildings full of drunks.  I can tell - I can spot a drunk from 100 yards away.  They're always drinking, for one thing.  They're drinking at odd times of the day - in the morning, during work hours, late on a weeknight.  These are not times that normal people drink.  Normal people haven't started drinking yet or they're at work, where they can't drink,  or they're going to bed.

Drunks are loud, too.  Jesus, are they loud.  I was sitting in my backyard today right across the street from the drunks, who were outside drinking, and I had earplugs stuffed into my ear canals.  Otherwise I could clearly hear everything the drunks were saying.  This was not talking - this was shouting, this was yelling.  I can't imagine what it must have sounded like sitting right next to someone yelling like that.  I went to the front of the house once to see if they were using amplified bullhorns.  I can't recall losing my hearing when I was drinking.  I think my hearing was just fine.

Drunks assume that everyone else likes the kind of music that they like, and that they want to hear it played loudly all the time.  Maybe the drunks were shouting over the music.  Maybe if they turned down the music that I didn't want to hear then they wouldn't have to shout.  Maybe that's not it at all.  Maybe they're all afraid that no one else wants to hear what they're saying.  I didn't hear anything interesting being said.  They keep inviting me to join them but I can't come up with a good reason to do so.  Drunks aren't very interesting but they think they're very interesting.  It's quite the conundrum

One of the drunks yelled at me to come on over.  He was drinking one of those Australian beers that look like it comes in a 55 gallon drum.

"Seaweed!" he yelled.  "How the hell ya doin?  I'd give you a beer but I don't have another one."  Drunks never have an extra beer.  They're always looking for an extra beer but they don't have one to give.  I didn't stay long - the guy was drunk and he was yelling at me at the top of his lungs, even though I was standing right there without any apparent ear damage or hearing loss, and he wasn't saying anything very interesting.  I barely bother to smile in these situations - this guy couldn't have cared less who was in front of him.

These drunks are always yelling hello and telling me, very earnestly, that if I need anything - anything at all - I just have to ask.

"How about turning the fucking music off and lowering your voices?" I'm tempted to say but I don't.  What would the point be?  

On another topic entirely I went to a farmer's market here today and bought some strawberries right out of the field that made my knees buckle.