More About Me.

Old:  Having been in use for a long time; worn out by age or use; shabby.

A friend of mine plays in a band.  His group had a show on Saturday night to which I was invited and I said that I would go.  I was a little leery accepting the invitation because the music started about the time I'm normally going to bed.  I'm old, after all.

I said I would go because I really love seeing live music.  SuperK and I go all of the time although we usually try to find something interesting during the day or early evening.  But I also wanted to go because this guy is a good friend; his music is important to him and I wanted to support that love.  I can't tell you what a rush I get when someone reads this stuff here and tells me that they got something out of it.

"Really?" I say.  "How come?"

SuperK and I had a busy day and I could feel my resolve weaken as the day went along.  Needless to say, I was in bed when he took the stage and fast asleep before his group started their 4th song.  I'm probably exaggerating there.

Today I felt some remorse.  I wasn't sunk in a deep, dark depression but I felt a little bad about it.  Here's where the sickness shows up.

First of all, I assumed he noticed I wasn't there, obsessed over it all evening to such an extent that it affected his playing, and that he was still furious about it today, after lying awake all night, thinking about me. 

Yeah.  Think I have a problem with ego?

More likely, I mused, he may have noticed that I wasn't there and the thought stuck in his mind for 9 seconds or so.  Maybe 10 seconds.  Certainly no more than 13 seconds.

Still unlikely but at least possible.

I considered this scenario: he didn't think about me at all.  He was, after all, performing in front of a lot of people.  You think maybe that was on his mind?  He was probably nervous.  He was probably enjoying the experience.  He was probably not thinking about me.

I spoke with him this morning and apologized for missing the set.  Not groveling apologizing; a friend apologizing to a friend.  It was fine.

I woke up today to see a picture of him in full garb on my FB page with the caption: "While you were sleeping."  That's pretty funny.

For a guy who never thinks about anyone else I sure that everyone else is thinking about me.