Propel

Self-Propulsion:  To push, drive, or impel oneself onward, forward, or ahead.


As god is my witness I have no idea how people make it through their lives without the support and strength of some kind of spiritual program.  I have no idea.  I work my butt off trying to grow my spirituality and trying to be of service to my fellow man, in the midst of a large, supportive group of men and women who are trying to do the same thing, and I'm STILL an asshole half the time.  I don't know how people can navigate life without this kind of support structure.  I realize that most folks are better equipped to deal with the vicissitudes of life than a garden variety drunk but still . . . no idea.


And I marvel at the differences between The Program and organized religion.  My mama is one of the best people I know, a woman with a strong spiritual faith that she finds at church.  But her support structure doesn't have the same tentacles that mine does.  I'm immersed in a group of people who are on the same spiritual path, however haltingly we move down that path.  I spend way more time trying to grow spiritually than she does, and she spends a lot of time on it.  I guess it's the proximity to death that is so motivating to the drunk.  I certainly don't want to sound like I'm blowing my own horn.  I do this stuff not out of choice, at least not at the start, but rather because I was killing myself.  Pain and suffering and jails and death are very powerful motivators.


I like the phrase "self-propulsion."  It sure describes me and I sure see it in a lot of people I run into.  Folks who are plowing ahead into their day, thinking about themselves and what they can take out of life.  It's pretty natural.  Seeing what I can pack into the stream of life instead of what I can take out of life is most unnatural.  But how great are the benefits to this unnatural way of living.