Wise and Calm, or Calm and Wise, I'm Not Sure Which

Calm:  Undisturbed; unruffled; tranquil; still.
Wise:   Having or showing good judgment; sagacious; prudent; discreet.


The other day someone described my behavior as "wise and calm."  This was someone who obviously has no idea what the hell's going on.  This has been happening more frequently as I get older.  It did not happen when I was drinking, I can assure you of that.  Phrases like "nightmare" and "train wreck" and "asshole"  come to mind.  I recall "big asshole" being bandied about on more than one instance.


Wise I can see, maybe, on a good day.  When someone says "wise" I assume that they really mean "old."  I think it's hard not to get a bit wiser as you age.  Maybe wise means "not stupid."  If you quit sticking your hand into a running fan after losing several fingers in earlier hand-running fan encounters it hardly seems appropriate to call this wisdom.  My cat could figure that one out.  She's a pretty smart cat but she's still a cat.


Calm is more problematic.  I wouldn't call myself calm.  Calmer, sure, but not calm.  Maybe when I appear calm folks are actually seeing me when I'm tired.  Calm and exhausted look the same sometimes.  I'm better at appearing calm.  I found that when I wasn't calm and not trying to appear calm that I alarmed people.  I try not to do that anymore, with varying degrees of success.


Calm is a parked car.  Appearing calm is a parked car, with the engine turned on, and a foot on the accelerator, pushing it to the floor.  The car isn't moving but it shaking and making a hell of a lot of noise.  That's how I feel.  What you see on the outside is not what is going on underneath.  It's the old duck analogy -- smoothly floating on top of the water, little webbed feet churning away just under the surface.


Strangely enough, it works some of the time.  If I pretend that I'm calm, then I feel calm.


Calmer, not calm.


-er:  Added to many adjectives and adverbs to form the comparative degree, as later, greater.