Fired!

Fire:  (Pun on discharge), (Colloq.), to dismiss from a position; discharge.


I got fired today.


That statement should stand on its own merits but there you go.


"I'm on a plane trying to get home for the weekend so I'll get to the point.  We've decided to go another direction with our representation in your corner of the world.  Don't take this personally -- we appreciate your efforts over the years -- but we've decided to make a change," said the faceless bureaucrat who apparently is tasked with making these decisions.  I really don't know -- I've never met him.  I think he's my boss's boss's boss.  What would that make him?  My great-grand boss?


"How am I supposed to take it?" I asked.  "Impersonally?  Mechanically?  Spiritually?  By transferring it to another person?"  I didn't really see how I was supposed to take it if not personally.  It was an extremely personal thing.  I could tell that this guy did stuff like this all the time.  I don't think he had trouble falling asleep that night, either.  He did it on the phone and it didn't take 45 seconds.  He was controlled and unemotional and careful to keep everything very legal.  


This was always a classy, classy organization.  45 seconds on the phone with a guy I've never met on a Friday afternoon after 15 years of labor.  I've worked for this organization, in one form or another, since 1997.  I'm not that good with dates but I believe we are closing in on 2012.  I would have hoped for 75 seconds at least.  Not more than that, of course.  That would be piggish and self-centered.


"I'm wondering why you didn't let me know that you were unhappy with my work.  If you had discussed this with me maybe I could have made some changes," I suggested.  He didn't say anything.  This was OK because I knew exactly why they weren't happy with my efforts, which were intermittent and pathetic and quite half-hearted.  But I figured if I was going to get fired I was going to make the guy squirm a little, the piece of shit.


"Hey, here's something funny," I said.  "I moved 2500 miles away last year and you guys never figured it out.   You're really on the ball.  You're really right on top of things.  That's a hell of an organization you work for."


If you would have told me at the start of the year that I would have lasted this long I would have laughed in your face.  And SuperK told me more than once that this was my last trip back to The Old City to work.  Regrettably, that didn't stop her from freaking out a little bit, apparently fouling up a pretty good nap.


Be careful what you pray for because you might get it.


Here's the thing: What I was doing wasn't right.  It wasn't awful but it wasn't right.  I had decided that because I wasn't treated very well by this organization in some crucial past dealings that I had earned the right to behave poorly in return.  Here's a quote: "To escape looking at the wrongs we have done another, we resentfully focus on the wrong he has done us.


And I didn't say any of those things.  I made everything up except for what he said to me.


I tell my buddies all the time: "Do me a favor -- try not to talk to today.  Try not to say anything.  Your day will go much better."  


Yeah, tell me about it.